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Narcissism and Evil

To qualify as evil a person (Moral Agent) must meet these requirements:

  1.. That he can and does consciously choose between the (morally) right and wrong and constantly and consistently prefers the latter;
  2.. That he acts on his choice irrespective of the consequences to himself and to others.
Clearly, evil must be premeditated. Francis Hutcheson and Joseph Butler argued that evil is a by-product of the pursuit of one’s interest or cause at the expense of other people’s interests or causes. But this ignores the critical element of conscious choice among equally efficacious alternatives. Moreover, people often pursue evil even when it jeopardizes their well-being and obstructs their interests. Sadomasochists even relish this orgy of mutual assured destruction.

Narcissists satisfy both conditions only partly. Their evil is based upon their need for importance and power. They act on their choice even if it inflicts misery and pain on others. But they never opt for evil if they are to bear the consequences of their actions. They act maliciously because it is expedient to do so – not because it is “in their nature”.

The narcissist is able to tell right from wrong and to distinguish between good and evil. In the pursuit of his interests and causes, he sometimes chooses to act wickedly. Lacking empathy, the narcissist is rarely remorseful. Because he feels entitled, exploiting others is second nature. The narcissist abuses others absent-mindedly, off-handedly, as a matter of fact.

The narcissist objectifies people and treats them as expendable commodities to be discarded after use. Admittedly, that, in itself, is evil. Yet, it is the mechanical, thoughtless, heartless face of narcissistic abuse – devoid of human passions and of familiar emotions – that renders it so alien, so frightful and so repellent.

We are often shocked less by the actions of narcissist than by the way he acts. In the absence of a vocabulary rich enough to capture the subtle hues and gradations of the spectrum of narcissistic depravity, we default to habitual adjectives such as “good” and “evil”. Such intellectual laziness does this pernicious phenomenon and its victims little justice.

Note – Why are we Fascinated by Evil and Evildoers?

The common explanation is that one is fascinated with evil and evildoers because, through them, one vicariously expresses the repressed, dark, and evil parts of one’s own personality. Evildoers, according to this theory, represent the “shadow” nether lands of our selves and, thus, they constitute our antisocial alter egos. Being drawn to wickedness is an act of rebellion against social strictures and the crippling bondage that is modern life. It is a mock synthesis of our Dr. Jekyll with our Mr. Hyde. It is a cathartic exorcism of our inner demons.

Yet, even a cursory examination of this account reveals its flaws.

Far from being taken as a familiar, though suppressed, element of our psyche, evil is mysterious. Though preponderant, villains are often labeled “monsters” – abnormal, even supernatural aberrations. It took Hanna Arendt two thickset tomes to remind us that evil is banal and bureaucratic, not fiendish and omnipotent.

In our minds, evil and magic are intertwined. Sinners seem to be in contact with some alternative reality where the laws of Man are suspended. Sadism, however deplorable, is also admirable because it is the reserve of Nietzsche’s Supermen, an indicator of personal strength and resilience. A heart of stone lasts longer than its carnal counterpart.

Throughout human history, ferocity, mercilessness, and lack of empathy were extolled as virtues and enshrined in social institutions such as the army and the courts. The doctrine of Social Darwinism and the advent of moral relativism and deconstruction did away with ethical absolutism. The thick line between right and wrong thinned and blurred and, sometimes, vanished.

Evil nowadays is merely another form of entertainment, a species of pornography, a sanguineous art. Evildoers enliven our gossip, color our drab routines and extract us from dreary existence and its depressive correlates. It is a little like collective self-injury. Self-mutilators report that parting their flesh with razor blades makes them feel alive and reawakened. In this synthetic universe of ours, evil and gore permit us to get in touch with real, raw, painful life.

The higher our desensitized threshold of arousal, the more profound the evil that fascinates us. Like the stimuli-addicts that we are, we increase the dosage and consume added tales of malevolence and sinfulness and immorality. Thus, in the role of spectators, we safely maintain our sense of moral supremacy and self-righteousness even as we wallow in the minutest details of the vilest crimes.

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The holidays are upon us

Do difficult relatives ruin your holidays year after year? Some have proclaimed a few weeks before Thanksgiving that the family gathering would be ruined as usual because of a sister-in-law, husband, and meddlesome nephew. Many have a defeatist attitude and plan to engage in a full battle and go to war with those despicable in-laws.

I am reminded from previous conversations that you can’t change the other person, but by changing your approach  you could get a more favorable response and experience. Try to pretend this is the first time you are are meeting you family. Welcome them into her home and as the hostess, keep the conversation light.

You still have the right to set boundaries and enforce with the misbehaving nephew if the parents don’t.  You may want to try switching to other locations for the  Thanksgiving feast to share in the responsibilities of the organization of this holiday. Even though the relatives expected to have this celebration at your home does not mean that you are stuck in a rut forever? Have you considered going out to dinner. There are plenty of places now where you can have a tasty turkey dinner and more.

Many people do succeed in letting go of their battle gear and having a good time. The in-laws can respond favorably to your relaxed body language, and having to control the obnoxious nephew can be easier because both you and her husband enforced the boundaries. They turned a deaf ear to his constant whining.

Here are specific examples of how hot buttons are pushed based on the four perceptual styles: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. In each instance the person is operating through his or her Limiting Tendencies rather than Empowering Tendencies. Therefore they are reactive and hope to get a reaction from you. Following each example is a remedy for defusing the situation.

Audio: Uncle Bob is always argumentative. He claims he is just playing the Devil’s Advocate. But eventually it triggers a shouting match because he is also sarcastic. Uncle Bob wants to evoke a reaction because simmering beneath the surface is anger and he’s looking for a way to vent. Once you react, he’s won! He now has an excuse to shout to intimidate you. He uses his temper to control others.

Remedy: When you start seeing red, take a deep breath and assess the situation. If you can leave the room, do so to calm down. There is always a reason to go into the kitchen, whether it’s to check on the food or to get a glass of water. If you feel you would be deserting the guests if you got up and went into the kitchen, change the subject. If appropriate, tell a joke—getting everyone laughing is a great way to defuse the situation.

Feeler: Aunt Jane enjoys being the martyr. The driving force behind her indignation is, “After all I’ve done for you and this is all the appreciation I get?” So she will tell you her tale of woe or all of her worries. Her subconscious goal is for you to feel sorry for her and maybe even wallow with her in her self-pity—misery does love company!

Remedy: Sometimes just quietly listening to her is all she needs. She wants to pour out all her problems and worries. Then steer the conversation to things she has been doing. Sincerely compliment her on her accomplishments, no matter how small. She just wants to feel needed and appreciated. If she offers to help, by all means accept it!

Visual: John is frustrated with his life. It’s just not turning out the way he had envisioned it. Subconsciously he wants you to feel as frustrated as he is. He might attack ideas with “No, it’ll never work.” Or he might slip into a funk and use the silent treatment: “If you don’t know what’s bothering me, I’m not going to tell you.” Either of those actions can frustrate you!

Remedy: Realize it’s a game to control you. Keep that smile on your face when you say, “I’m really sorry, John, that you aren’t having a good day. Hope you feel better soon.” Then walk away. If it’s at the dinner table, change the subject or turn your attention to someone else.

Wholistic: For years Chris has expressed resentment that she hasn’t gotten her just rewards. She should have gotten that promotion, but then what do you expect? There is a glass ceiling for women! This resentment triggers irritability and moodiness. So sometimes Chris goes off and sulks. With a sour look on her face she withdraws from the others. She secretly likes the thought that others might be wondering what’s her problem. “Good, let them wonder.” When she joins the others for the holiday dinner, she manipulates the conversation so she can impose her opinion about why life isn’t fair.

Remedy: Let her sulk. It’s not your problem! Otherwise when she becomes negatively opinionated, you can quickly defuse the situation by saying, “You are entitled to your opinion. You brought up some points that I will have to think about.” End of conversation! Even though you disagree, don’t get into an argument with her. You will not win!

If you believe certain relatives will ruin the holiday again because they always do, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’ll get what you anticipate. So throw away the battle gear and bring out the good cheer. It is possible to have “Happy Holidays.”

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Make Money This Holiday Season

What if you could make more money than you spend this holiday season? Sounds like a pretty good idea, you say? If you’d like to be on the making money end during the holidays, now is the time to start preparing. Below I’m going to give you several money-making ideas. Pick the one or two that interest you the most and have fun!

SANTA LETTERS

Making a child feel special during the holidays is something I think most adults strive to do.   Selling Santa letters to parents, grandparents, daycares and preschools are a great way to build a business. And once one child starts telling their friends that THEY got a letter from Santa. News will start to spread. These children will turn into little walking advertisements for you. If you really enjoy this business during the holidays, you can run this type of business all year long with letters from the Easter Bunny, Cupid, the Great Pumpkin…just to name a few.

 CRAFTS

It doesn’t matter if you’re into woodworking, sewing, painting, pottery, or creating handmade paper. More than ever, people enjoy giving that one-of-a-kind special gift. You can sell your crafts via the Net, at holiday bazaars or craft shows, or even consignment style. Once you become known for your crafts, word-of-mouth will keep you very busy.

A HOLIDAY GRATITUDE SERVICE
Here’s a way businesses can say ‘Thank you ‘to the community. It’s also a way to help plump up the retailers business in December. Talk with your local business about what they’d like to contribute to your holiday kit that you will be offering to local residents. It could be a free gift, a discount, coupons etc. It’s a win win situation for everyone. The community receives some discounts and the businesses get more business. This type of service can also be run all throughout the year by offering newcomer packets to those who have just moved into the neighborhood, new baby and new pet packets etc. You could have a lot of fun with this one.

RUBBER STAMPING

One idea is to create your own line of holiday cards with rubber stamps.  This is your opportunity to break out into business and create unique hand-stamped holiday cards. Or why not offer a class teaching this great hobby? Rubber stamping can be worked into so many different businesses.   If you are into rubber stamping, seriously consider having a rubber stamping card party. You would supply everything needed, and could charge either a flat fee or charge per card made.

T-SHIRTS

You can also run a T-shirt business and find  a way to make extra cash during the holidays. You can create inexpensive holiday sweatshirts, and long- and short-sleeved T-shirts. And you do not have to stop at T-shirts, but also include tote bags, felt and cloth ornaments, advent and traditional calendars, aprons and many other items that you can purchase wholesale and sell at retail prices!

FLEECE BLANKETS

I don’t know about you, but I love fleece blankets. I was really excited when I found out I could make these awesome “Snuggly” blankets without having to sew a stitch.  There’s no sewing or needlework involved; all you do is cut and tie. Making Snugglies is a great way to start and create a business, make a little extra cash, or just make them for gifts. It’s all up to you!”

 ONLINE AUCTIONS

The hype of eBay has not gone away, but has only grown. When among a group of people, I can usually find someone who has either bought or sold something in an online auction.  Start thinking about what you might have that you could sell online.  Others have found that the items that sell well are those that can be used for stocking stuffers, are limited editions, or are signed items.

BAKING

Then there are the people who cannot stop baking during the holidays. Are you the type of person who finds that at the close of the season, all of your neighbors’ and friends refrigerators and cookie jars are bursting at the seams because baking is just your thing? Believe it or not, this is not the favorite activity of everyone.

The niche market that has been Stacy’s holiday bread and butter since 1991 is selling gingerbread houses to real estate agents. She leaves a gingerbread house with order information in large real estate offices for a few days. She also offers free delivery to the real estate office, or delivery for a fee to their home-buying customers and other colleagues, such as mortgage brokers, closing attorneys, etc.

PLAN IT RIGHT

These are just a few ideas you can use to make a little extra cash this holiday season. Use your imagination. Remember, people are more than willing to spend money for that special gift and holiday service. Why can’t you be the one who pockets that money? This is such a great time of year to make your business work. Being your own boss has never sounded better, now has it? Start thinking now if you want this to be seasonal work, or if you want to continue your business into the new year. All of the business ideas I listed above can be run throughout the year. This could be the start of something very profitable!

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Tis The Season For Volume

Do you know how many turkeys are eaten during the holiday season? Below are a few interesting facts regarding the volume of turkeys eaten, cards sent, and much more.

Christmas Cards
Do you enjoy receiving cards in the mail? How many do you think you get each season? There are roughly 1.9 billion Christmas cards sent in the United States every year to friends, family members, and acquaintances, making Christmas the #1 card sending occurrence, followed by Valentine’s Day.

Packages
The number UPS is expected to deliver this year is over 340 million. The busiest day is expected to reach 20 million deliveries, which translates to 230 packages being delivered every second during that day.

Turkey
There are approximately 60 million turkeys consumed in the United States through the holiday season. Each American eats around 13.7 pounds of turkey every year! You think you are tired of turkey once Christmas is over? This may be why.

Christmas Trees
Next time you are lugging your tree home, remember this little fact. There are 20.8 million Christmas trees cut in the U.S. every year, with Oregon being the largest producer. Tree farmers retail roughly $506 million from the sale of trees. There is $69 million worth of artificial trees imported from China alone. Artificial Christmas trees have outsold real trees every year since 1991.

Christmas Tree Ornaments
China is the largest importer of Christmas ornaments which totals $561 million between January and August. Apparently those little trinkets are purchased year-round to have handy when Christmas time approaches.

Decorating
Most malls and other stores begin decorating for the holiday season on November 1st.

Holiday Shopping
Holiday sales are expected to hit $439.53 billion this year if the economy begins to improve. December accounts for roughly 15% of stores’ yearly sales, except for in the case of jewelry stores, which is closer to 24%. However, most Americans only expect to spend an average of $681 each this holiday reason. On Black Friday, approximately $8.01 billion was spent, totaling $16.8 billion for the weekend. Residence of the New England states are expected to spend the most, with the South expected to spend considerably less.

Toys
Roughly 45% of shoppers this year will be purchasing toys, with Barbie and video games being the most sought after products.

Holiday Music
The most frequently played holiday song is “Jingle Bells”, with “White Christmas” running a close second. Bing Crosby’s “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” is the #1 best selling Christmas single of all time.

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Be Courageous

Courage is defined as greatness of heart, spirit to meet danger, and boldness.

God commanded Joshua three times to be strong and have good courage and assured him of His constant presence if His commandments were obeyed. (Josh. 1:8-9) He promised that: “the eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.” (Deut. 33:27)

Knowing the Lord and obeying His commandments are the two main ingredients for the God kind of courage. El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient and Mighty One is on your side! He is Jehovah Nissi; the Lord, your Victory Banner. (Ex. 17:15) Isn’t that interesting? The victory banner is hoisted AFTER the battle! That means that the battle is already won! Christ’s defeat of Satan on the cross has made you more than a conqueror. (Rom. 8:37) Tell Him about the battles you’re facing and nestle underneath the everlasting arms while he destroys your enemy.

You are equipped with the full armor of God. Moses and Joshua were assured of God’s presence and guidance due to their obedience to the Law. Through Christ’s sacrifice you have the assurance of having already overcome because “greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) You are not fighting a physical enemy but you’re up against evil spiritual forces. Although this sounds ominous, all you will need to do is STAND! Yes, stand, protected by the whole armor of God.

David’s only physical armor in his battle against Goliath was a slingshot! To the heavily armored giant he shouted: “Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear; but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of Hosts, the God of the armies.” David was the ONLY person who knew without a doubt that God would deliver Goliath into his hands! There had been a number of battles to overthrow the Philistines – to no avail. His brother ridiculed him, the giant jeered at him, and both armies stood by in total disbelief and amusement. Was David daunted by that? Did disbelief, shame and doubt enter his head? After all he wasn’t even old enough to be in the army! NO! He declared out loud to everyone that they “shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s!” Then he ran up to the man whom everyone feared, with only five smooth stones in his hand but fully armed with the anointing of the Lord of  Hosts. There was no iota of doubt in him as he knew his God; His faithfulness, His previous exploits and, most of all, His intimate fellowship with him. (1 Samuel 17)

How about you? Are you being influenced by voices of doubt and unbelief? Or do you take courage in the strength and full protection of the Lord of Hosts? Don’t forget to put on His armor. It’s not heavy but it will help you to stand and be courageous.

You must first of all know the Truth of the Word of God. Only the Word can effect the salvation of your soul. Once assured of salvation, you know you have been made righteous by His blood. This is your main armor: the breastplate that protects your heart and most vulnerable parts. Now you’re equipped to share the gospel wherever you go and use your ever-increasing faith as a shield to ward off doubts and fears. Being born again by the Spirit of God protects your mind, keeping it focused on His Word and Divine Will. Lastly, pray constantly using the Word of God, not human wisdom, to come against the forces that attack you. They shall flee at the onslaught of this Sword of the Spirit! (Eph.: 6:10-18)

“Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.” (Josh. 1:9)

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